Things that make you go MMMMmm!

If you mated a bull dog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?

How fast do hotcakes sell?

If you wore a teflon suit, could you ever end up in a sticky situation?

Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on?

Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?

If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?

Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?

Can you get cornered in a round room?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?

If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)

Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?

Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it?

When people say, "I’m so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place?

Do stairs go up or down?

Why do bullies always ask "what’s your problem" when they're obviously not going to solve it?

Do they have burglar alarms at Christian bookstores?

Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket?

If you swallow a burp does it turn into a fart?

Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities they are put in an mental hospital, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute?

Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David?

Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?

How come French fries are not considered vegetables, since they are just deep fried potatoes?

If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep pissing or stop?

Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts too?

Do the actors in the re-enactments on Americas most wanted, ever get arrested (because they were seen on TV portraying the criminal)?

Can a person with no ears wear glasses?

If you rented a movie and were late returning it and then you died would someone you knew or a family member have to pay the late fee?

If you made biscuits with chocolate milk instead of regular milk, would they taste chocolaty?

What if you were to ask a genie to grant you more than three wishes for one of you wishes?

Why doesn't baking soda freeze?

Do bald people get dandruff?

How come no matter what color the liquid is the froth is always white?

Why do they call it your "bottom", when it's really in the middle of your body?

If you tell someone they are being judgmental aren't you being judgmental yourself?

Why do they call it a RUNNING BACK when he is running forward?

Why does everyone speak different languages and have different accents if we all originally came from the same place?

Why is it we have the weight of the world on our shoulders but have to get it off our chests?

If you decide that you're indecisive, which one are you?

If an anarchist group attained political power, would they by principle have to dissolve their own government?

If Luke took a bath, would the water be lukewarm?

Why doesn't the glue in the bottle dry up?

How do you handcuff a one-armed man?

Can blind people be dyslexic when they read Braille?

Why do we say "bye bye" but not "hi hi"?

Why is it you can walk down a road, even if it goes uphill?

If one man says, "it was an uphill battle," and another says, "it went downhill from there," how could they both be having troubles?

If you're caught "between a rock and a hard place", is the rock not hard?

If your born at exactly midnight is your birthday on both those days?

Do the different "M&M's"® colors taste different?

Why don't you hear thunder with heat lightning?

Why do donuts have holes?

Why can't you eat pancakes for dinner?

Why do we feel blue? and what color does a smurf feel when they are down?

What does OK actually mean?

If the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

If you were on a plane going the speed of sound and walked from the back of the plane to the front, would you be walking faster than the speed of sound?

In some books, why do they have blank pages at the very end?

Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?

Why are things typed up but written down?

Why do old men have hair in their ears?

Why in baseball is it called the World Series if it is only played in the U.S.A & Canada?

If you have x-ray vision, and you can see through anything, wouldn't you see through everything and actually see nothing?

nearby town, do you have to pay for the property damage?

If you own a piece of land and there is an volcano on it and it ruins a

If a water spins clockwise when it drains in the northern hemisphere, and water spins counterclockwise when it drains in the southern hemisphere...which way does it spin at the equator?

Have you ever thought what life would be like if your name was Anonymous? You'd get credit for everything nobody wanted credit for?

If you had x-ray vision, but closed your eyes, could you still see?

What do you say when someone says you're in denial, but you're not?

Why do they call it 2% milk, if its 2% fat, not milk?

Do siamese twins pay for one ticket or two tickets when they go to movies and concerts?

Do birds pee?

If you are born on February 29 of a leap year, when is your birthday?

When a male is elected president and his wife is called the First Lady. What would a lady's husband be called if she were elected president?

Can dogs have dog days?

Why does blow and suck mean the same thing when we describe something being crap?

Why do they call the clock where you punch your time card called a "time" clock? Aren't all clocks "time" clocks?

Does anyone actually kill two birds with one stone?

Why did Superman wear his briefs on the outside of his tights?

Why do people say heads up when you should duck?

Why do radio operators say "niner" instead of just "nine"?

Do dumped farmers get John Deere letters?

Do pigs pull ham strings?

On a telephone, why does ABC start on the number 2 and not 1?

Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?

Isn't it scary that the word "therapist" is the same as the words "the" and "rapist" put together?

Can you slam a revolving door?

How young can you be, but still die of old age?

What would happen if you found a four-leaf-clover under a ladder?

Can a cross-eyed teacher control his pupils?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

If winnie the pooh was civilized enough to keep his honey in jars, why did he eat it off his hands? Surely he had spoons?

What happens if you get a paper cut from a Get Well card?

Can you read a picture book?

Why does it say "shake well" on ketchup bottles, but not ketchup packets?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Is eating a mermaid considered cannibalism?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do?

Is the opposite of "out of whack" "in whack"

Why are toe nail clippers bigger than finger nail clippers when your toe nails are smaller than your finger nails?

If Practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice?

What's the opposite of opposite?

Why do we scrub Down and wash Up?

Why is it when your almost dead your on deaths doorstep, but when your actually dead your not in deaths house?

Do sore thumbs really stick out?

If you accidentally ate your own tongue, what would it taste like?

If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?

Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn't it be called an inlet.

Why is an elevator still called an elevator even when its going down?

Can good looking Eskimo girls be called hot?

Why do birds have white poop?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?

Why is it called eggplant, when there's no egg in it?

Why is it called pineapple, when's there neither pine nor apple in it?

Why are boxing rings square?

If somebody vanished without a trace, how do people know they are missing?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up "there" anyway?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why do people say "You scared the living daylights out of me" when daylight is not living?

Is the fear of flying groundless?

Do mimes watch silent movies?

Does peanut butter really have butter in it?

Why is it that cargo is transported by ship while a shipment is transported by car?

Why doesn't a chicken egg taste like chicken?

If the professor on Giligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, credits, and special features, or just the movie itself?

Does a postman deliver his own mail?

If feathers tickle people, do they tickle birds?

Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest?

What do people in China call their good plates?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink what ever comes out"?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why is the third hand on the watch called second hand?

Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

Why can magicians make things disappear into thin air, but not thick air?

Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

If you stole a pen from a bank then would it still be considered a bank robbery?

Why is it that lemon dishsoap is made with real lemons, but lemon juice is artificial flavoring?

Why are they called goose bumps? Do geese get people bumps?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

Do vampires get AIDS?

Why are SOFTballs hard?

If Milli Vanilli fell in the woods, would someone else make a sound ?

Why does mineral water that has "trickled through mountains for centuries" go out of date next year?

Why is it called a "drive through" if you have to stop?

In France do people just ask for toast and get French toast? or do they have to ask for American toast?

If a transport truck carrying a load of cars gets into a car accident, does it increase the number of the cars in the pile-up?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages?

What do you call a female daddy long legs?

Do they have the word "dictionary" in the dictionary?

Don't you find it worrying that doctors call treating you their "practice" ?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

What ever happened to an E grade? We have A,B,C,D,F but no E.

What shape is the sky?

If a Jewish person goes to court and is asked to put their right hand on the Bible, do they use a Torah instead?

Why is it written "May contain traces of peanuts or other kind of nuts" on peanut butter jars. Are people stupid enough not to realize it themselves?

If you only have one eye...are you blinking or winking?

If you have a gun and you ask, "can I ask you a question?" and they say "fire away" should you shoot them?

What is a chickpea if it is neither a chick nor a pea?

Why is it called the People's Republic Of China when China's not a republic?

Why are dandelions considered weeds when daisies are considered flowers?

Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?

Whenever an adult is kidnapped why isn't it called adultnapped??

Why do blacklights look purple?

Did Yankee Doodle name the feather, hat, town, or his pony Macaroni?

Why is it that people duck in the rain, do they really think the rain won't hit them?

How come the Bible is the most stolen book, and one of the ten comandments is "thou shall not steal"?

Why isn't the caps lock capitalized?

If there's a hole straight through the earth, from the south pole to the north pole, and you jump through it what would happen? would you keep falling forever, or fall back down when you get to the middle, or is it physically impossible?

If someone with a nostril ring takes it out, then blows their nose, do they have to cover that hole as well as their nostril holes so that snot does'nt blow out everywere?

Isn't it weird that if you rearange the word "teacher" you get "cheater"?

How come whenever you start to sing, you automatically sing in a higher voice than you talk?

How come people say they ate the last piece of gum, when they really just chew it?

If a pope goes to the bathroom, is it considered holy crap?

You know the saying "throw ya hands in the air like ya don't care"? why bother doing that if you dont care?

Why is there no pine or apple in pineapple?

If "Fantasy Island" really granted wishes, why wasn't Tattoo 6'6" ?

Why do water bottles have a "best if used by" date?

If you called the police station to talk to an officer and he was not there, would that be considered a cop out?

Can bald people get a hair line fracture?

Why do they put holes in crackers?

How come on TV the bell always rings and then the kids go to class, but in real life you need to be in class before the bell rings?

Why can the saying "it's all downhill from here." mean both that it will be easy and that it is going to get worse?

If all of ACME's products backfire, why does Wile E. Coyote keep buying them?

Why do "cool" and "hot" mean the same thing?

If you sneeze and fart at the same time, does a vacuum form in your stomach?

Why does triangularly cut bread taste better than square bread?

Does a baby feel the umbilical cord being cut off?

Is it legal to name your kid "Anonymous"?

Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

If you have a pet with 2 heads do you have to name both heads?

Why can't liquor freeze?

If you dig a hole in the south pole are you digging up or down?

How come they don't add the time that we are in our mom's to our age?

Why do people squint their eyes when they can't see? Wouldn't that just make it less space to see out of?

What is a hacky, and why is it in a sack?

Why do they call them pepperoni if there is no pepper in it?

How old does something have to be to become an antique?

Can a school teacher give a homeless child homework?